I used to power through a lot and didn't listen to my inner voice. That drained me and pushed me to my physical limits. I took on far too much. Because I believed that if I was busy and had a lot on my plate, I would be a good fellow human being. Until my body showed me that I was not. I had created a goiter that had to be removed because it was too big. In addition, I was constantly struggling with iron deficiency, along with low thyroid levels, bad skin (like puberty - no worse), brittle hair, heavy menstruation, joint pain, depressive moods, weak libido, and so on. I had reached a dead end.
But it's not just me, it's many people.
A longing burned inside me, which I compensated with work, helping, trying to save the world. But it was the longing for me, the longing for connection to my divine self.
Through all the entanglements and work, I felt important and good. The good girl, I was energetic and was busy. But, I hardly had time for myself. If I took it, I had a guilty conscience. Am I allowed to do that at all? Will I still be looked at and loved? These beliefs that were so deep-seated kept me entangled in them. I overlooked the many signs, nudges, whispers of my soul, my inner voice. I pushed it all aside. Until it manifested and showed in my body. Ouch!
I couldn't go on like this. I set out on my path of liberation. How where when it happened, whether this was through the yoga training, the many meditation seminars, or much earlier doesn't matter. I am on the way and that is what counts. The path on which I remember myself, my true being that I am. The transformation to myself.
Just recently I was in the sweat lodge melting away all the faces and masks I had built up for myself. All my little tools to cower and hide, I threw into the embers, into the fire, to transform. Does it work? Yes, it does, it is still working in many different layers and levels.
And I show myself. I am no longer hiding behind many occupations. This is also true for my programs and the retreat. Still there is a lot to learn, just remembering to awaken my knowledge within me. Haha, all that is in me. Sometimes through continuing education and then again through silence, retreat or in encounters with my heart people or even strangers.
Because honestly, it's all there. In the sweat lodge, one participant had told me she wanted to remember the knowledge within. And that's how I feel, too. It is all there. The knowledge in me, my soul that resides in this unique body. My body that has stored so much and this expresses itself accordingly. I listen to my body & to the whisper of my soul. For this is how I satisfy my longing and come closer and closer to my divine self.
I am on my path. I share with you my experiences, so that you can go on your way and walk the path.
With love and connection
Christina
Translated with www.DeepL.com/Translator (free version)